Balance

If you force a rose to blossom, you break off the petals....

I have had the pleasure of coaching many different types of athletes over the years, I truly believe 'that when the student is ready, the teacher will appear' - I see myself as the teacher in the coach/athlete relationship but I'm continually learning myself. It's a fantastic process. For some ahtletes, their needs are met quickly and they go off to coach themselves with a few more tools in their toolbox. For others, the journey begins and continues, each year learning more, each year improving while I get to continually tweak the training, working on weaknesses, moving them towards the long range goals and garnerning success with consistency within smart training plans. Some of the athletes I get to work with have hit their goals this season and are winding down, others are in the peak weeks with the A priority race within sight. No matter where you are at this time in your training and racing, you need to strike a balance between work life, family life, friendships, school, etc.. Training for a race, particularly your A race of the season is physically and mentally stressful. When you tack on life stressors, it can be overwhelming. At times like these I like to remind the athletes, myself included, that we do this for fun. When it ceases to be fun then you have to examine why you are doing it in the first place. There should be a sense of excitement and joy leading into or coming off of a big race. If you have trained with consistency, if you nailed down your nutrition strategy, if you have spent time learning how to fix your flats, or other potential mechanicals quickly and efficiently, if you have mentally rehearsed your race strategy then you are ready! The race is the icing on the cake, enjoy the day, control what you can and let go of what you can't. 9 times out of 10, things will go as planned and you will have a fabulous experience. Sometimes things don't go as you planned, sometimes things happen, then, it's all about how you respond to those events and what you can learn from them. Everything concerning racing can have a positive outcome if you are willing to step back, learn and grow from the experience.
I was thinking about these things while I was fully enjoying a bike ride today, indoors, on the trainer while it poured rain outside. I prefer to be out, but not in the pouring rain when I can help it, instead, I had a great ride to some great music and I got off the bike after an hour feeling mentally and physically refreshed and marveled that I did that ride not because I had to today, but because I wanted to. Competitive athletes have a strong drive. It appears in sport, it shows up in the careers and the approach to life in general. I took a step back from being a competitive ahtlete this past month and struggled with it, only realizing today, after a purely enjoyable ride, that I needed that break. With major life changes occuring for me this past month, stepping back as the right thing to do yet I worried about losing fitness, I worried about losing that part of myself that enjoys competition in sport. I can be very bookish, but I need my outlets and I was worried I would not be able to do the things I enjoy with the same zeal because I have so many other things going on. I finally let go of my mental trappings of the workouts I felt "I had to do" this past week and just enjoyed the freedom of movement when I could get it, without any worry for how much time or distance I was covering. What a world of good it did me and after your major race, I urge you to do the same. The break time is all relative to the person. For some, it is a week or two, for others it could be 4-8 weeks but stepping back, enjoying other things, coming off a strict training schedule is so mentally and physically beneficial. It doesn't mean you have to stop and sit on the couch, or it could! Some athletes switch their focus from triathlon training to running, others put the swim/bike/run gear away for pursuit of windsurfing, rowing or sailing. The first thing you have to do though, is let go. You aren't supposed to be in peak physical form year round. Your body needs time after a long season to unwind and so does your mind. Be active but you don't have to maintan a certain amount of hours or mileage per week. Find your joy again, think about what you may want to train for next year and get excited about building fitness towards a peak again for the next go around, the joy should be in the process.
For those that still have some time to go, who are fatigued, cranking out the necessary workouts in the last build before taper for the A race around the corner, be confident and steadfast. I saw a great interview with Peter Reid a short while ago where he mentioned the best single piece of advice he had gotten from someone concerning balance of training with life. 8 weeks out of the A race of the year, put a big X on the calender. Prior to that, train consistently but be flexible. Enjoy time spent with friends, take an extra day off, juggle the training schedule a bit to fit the demands of life + training. When the big X hits though, that's it. Laser like focus on the goal at hand, target the final 8 weeks knowing you did everything you could and should do to have the best race possible. Talk about racing confident. Awesome advice. Even if you are less than 8 weeks out now, put the X on your calendar tomorrow when you wake up and then get after it!
4 weeks into my mental and physical break I am finding my groove. I am excited to enjoy the simplicity of a short run or ride, some yoga, a little rowing, strength training. I find I am paying more attention to the quality and quantity of calories I take in as my level of activity has dropped and I am finding joy within eating healthier as well. I am getting excited about starting from scratch and building some new fitness towards new goals. How about you?

What's next?

With the summer drawing to a close for me, it was time to direct my focus towards school. School in two respects, one for teaching and the other for learning as I started my first class towards my PhD on September first.
I have been putting some time management skills to the test. I was overwhelmed the first week back with helping Dave, starting work and adusting to teaching conditions that are less than ideal. I started having the recurring dream that I had years ago: standing on the beach or swimming in the ocean, it's usually one or the other, when the big set of waves come in and I start to get a panicky feeling in my chest like I may not come up for another breath of air, and then watching in dread, the tsunami rolls in, knowing I am powerless to avoid it's wrath. Luckily, I wake up just as the crest of the wave is curling over me. I remind myself to stay calm, I just need time to adjust to the pressure and demand of work due. A friend recently posted this picture on facebook about the new facebook layout, not my major life change, but it sums up my career and the pursuit of the PhD perfectly:

I went through steps 1 through 5 over the past 3 weeks, I would say I am at a solid step 6 now. Old habits die hard. For the past, what, 10 years? I've been training for and racing some kind of long distance endurance event. From Ironman to half's, back to Ironman a couple more times, to focusing on the BQ and marathoning, there really hasn't been a time where I'm not in the pursuit of some kind of lofty athletic goal. This summer I raced some short sprints but I still trained to run long, out of habit mostly. I signed up for a fall half marathon out of habit too and why not? I was running well, I was fitting the training in and feeling good. Then reality happened.

My teaching job is not the same. For the last few years our class sizes have steadily been increasing. 25 went to 28 for a few years and then last year up to 30. We knew it was going to be difficult this year. After excessing close to 100 teachers in my district, we have many empty classrooms that were once filled with students. The students are still there, 35-36 students per class for those of us that are left. It makes a big impact on how smoothly a class runs. It's not that the students are bad kids, there is just too many of them. There isn't enough space to move, there isn't enough lab equipment. I have 5-6 students sitting at a lab table built for 4. It takes a few minutes to get everyone calmed down at the beginning of the period. In general, they are excited about my class, they enjoy it, I can manage the room but it takes a lot more time to get them and keep them on task. I have more students than ever that have special needs, with classroom and testing modifications simply because there is less of us teaching. My fear is knowing that I cannot get to them all, that some may slip through the cracks and I'm horrified by that thought. I care about how well the students do, I want them to learn to think critically to become good citizens. I want them to learn as much as possible and it is taking more energy to manage that learning and to maintain a positive learning environment. This is what the public and the lawmakers do not understand. This is the problem with having non-education people deciding the policies and procedures for teachers. This is going to be our undoing in this country. We are already behind in math and science compared to the rest of the world. The government is concerned with the dollar and these short fixes by slashing the budget for schools and education is going to be difficult to recover from. I know economic times are difficult for everyone, I don't want my taxes increasing either but we have to do something about frivolous spending. This is a rich country, we need some people running it who can manage the money better. Posted on fb by another friend:

U.S. Tax revenue: $2,170,000,000,000

• Fed budget: $3,820,000,000,000
• New debt: $ 1,650,000,000,000
• National debt: $14,271,000,000,000• Recent budget cut: $ 38,500,000,000
Now, remove 8 zeros and pretend it's a household budget …
• Annual family income: $21,700
• Money the family spent: $38,200
• New debt on the credit card: $16,500
• Outstanding balance on credit card: $142,710
• Total budget cuts: $385

**sigh** I'm not sure what the answer is. I try to vote for the people I think will help manage things best, we need educational reform. We need government reform too it seems. The class I am taking this fall is called 'the history of science education'. The scariest thing I am learning is that we are still following the same format as the National Education Association outlined in 1899. Yes, you read that correctly, decisions made more than a century ago regarding what and how things are taught in our schools are still in place today. In NY, ten years ago, the policy makers made the worst decision in making the regents level classes the basic graduation requirements. Instead of the higher status they held, they are now the lowest requirement and to make sure that the kids can graduate, they continue to lower the scaled score on the tests. Last year, Living Environment was considered a passed test if the student scored 37 out of 85 possible points. So basically a 45 is a 65. Who is this helping??? If the kids can't do it, they can't. Why dumb everything down? Taking a regents exam in NYS used to mean something, now it's just a joke. I teach more than required and my students have a phenomenal passing rate, most achieving "mastery"- an 85 or better. So what? The test is meaningless and this is how the government wants to evaluate teachers, by dumbed down tests that a 6th grader could pass. Of course I'm highly effective with a 98% passing rate on a meaningless exam. This is why I am pursuing a PhD, hopefully I can raise the standards in the future. It's tough to go up against century old dogma though.
Anyway, there's that stress. I'm making the best of it. Each day I wake up, I tell myself it's a new day with new opportunities to make a difference in some kids life. I can't help them all, but hopefully I'll make an impact on a few, to be successful adults in the future.
Fitting in time for exercise with a looming presentation, a final paper I am researching, and keeping up with the extra grading I have at work has been tough. I do find the time though, I have to. I get cranky when I don't exercise. It's weird though, I am working out 5 days per week, mostly running four and bike once but I feel like I'm not doing much of anything at all. The bonus is I am eating less because I don't need the extra calories. I am being careful about my food choices and as a result I dropped 5 pounds this month by actually exercising less. The obsessive part of me was struggling with not fitting in 2 hours of exercise a day. I'm on the 30-45 minute short and sweet schedule, but I am realizing how addicted I was to exhausting myself on a daily basis and for the first time in awhile I have more energy when I'm finished, which is the way it's supposed to be. It's tough to break the old habits though. Once an Ironman, always an Ironman. It's a fallicy that exercise needs to be to total depletion yet it's hard to force myself to stop sometimes. I remind myself of what my goals are and the only thing I have planned so far is the Run for the Ridley 5k in October. Short and fast is manageable for me right now. I think a 10k will be in order in November. It will keep me interested and I need that goal driven workout schedule, however scaled back. Making the time to train is important to me. First, it clears my hyperactive brain so that I can think straight, and secondly I am completely addicted to the endorphins and the health benefits that training has given me over the years. I will make the time, for me, training is akin to brushing my teeth. Has to be done but I do so with a sense of relief as my competitiveness on the "court" is replaced by competitiveness in the classroom. So what's next for me as far as sport? I've given it some thought and I am really liking the idea of trail running and racing this winter. As for now, I am enjoying a break from a regular schedule and basically doing what I feel like, although this won't last long. I've gotten my feet under me in school and in class, I'm ready to commit to racing again. First up is the Ridley and hopefully it will cool off soon! This relentless humidity is a killer. I want to get back in the trails! I've been thinking about some different kind of racing next year and it's a possbility that I may run the Hyner challenge in April, definitely the off road half marathon in Montauk in May and the Greenbelt 25k in mid May sound like fine ideas. Since strapping on a pair of shoes and literally running out the door is the easiest thing to do for the time crunched, I will be running at least 4 days per week. I like the idea of getting on the mountain bike and goofing around for a change and made some plans to race some Xterra triathlons next year but we'll see. I may also be in class this summer. I've been strength training three days per week which may also account for the fat loss. Less cardio time, more strength based exercise, more balance. That's the update as to what's going on with me. Have to get back to some informative blog posts about training related topics. Please suggest one! Thanks for reading today and happy training!

up·heav·al Noun/ˌəpˈhēvəl/ 1. A violent or sudden change or disruption to something.

The second definition had to do with an upward thrusting of the earth's crust and even though I do feel like I've been shift off balance these past couple of weeks, our last East Coast earthquake that occurred while I was sitting in my car stopped at a light, didn't feel like much more than a car passing by fast and shaking the car a little, except there were no cars passing me while I was stopped at a red light. I learned later there was an earthquake via text from Dave in NYC, in for some pre-op testing. Upheaval is a good word to describe what's been going on with me the past few weeks and I'm not sure when things will settle, hopefully soon!
Rang in the last week of summer with plenty of time at the beach early in the week followed by days of prep for Irene. Dave's hip resurfacing surgery was scheduled for Monday am the 28th, not sure if Irene would tear apart the east end of LI preventing us from getting into NYC Sunday night, we went in early Saturday. Spent a great two days not noticing much of the storm at all with good friends Joe and Danielle at their apartment, relieved to find out that we suffered no power loss or flooding at our house. Whew.
The surgery went as planned and onward to recovery for Dave, the stress, buried deep reared its head Wednesday while on our way home from the hospital. Lots to do for my man, my boy and in preparation for the first day of work the next day and my first night of class as a doctoral student. Emotional, relieved that Dave made it through the major reconstructive surgery and that he was OK, there were frequent bouts of crying from frustration over small annoyances I wouldn't ordinarlily blink at and for those that know me well, I rarely, if ever, cry. Worried too, over the pain Dave was feeling and knowing there was nothing I could do to relieve it, only time and the healing hands of our awesome PT friends, Eileen and Sinead will take care of that end. Thursday the 1st was a 13 hour day for me, away from home on the first day that Dave was back. Thanks to great friend and athlete, Marty for checking in on him and Van in my absence. Labor day weekend was a blur, we did manage to get down to the beach for a couple of hours to relax on Saturday and the next rainy few days were spent in doors, me doing school work and Dave in increasing pain. For some reason, once he got moving, he was hypersensitive and while the hip is fine, his quad and ITB are screaming. Calls to the doc confirmed the muscle firing again waking up cut nerve theory (ha! you like that little descriptive name I gave it? There is some good physiology in there- have to tell you about it properly another time) I worked up, a little compensation going on as well and displaced stress from the trauma of surgery. A week later there still have been some sleepless nights but he is getting better. PT started officially with Eileen this past friday at the sports rehab and again tonight. Since DG can't drive, I'm it, coordinating Van's gymnastics with Dave's PT. So far I'm using the time to do some uninterrupted school work, doesn't seem to ever be enough time!
Last year when I interviewed for admittance to the PhD program, the Prof's had asked me what I was going to give up to find the time for research. I answered at that time "training competitively" because 8-15 hours per week is not compatible with full time work and school and family. Knowing it and experiencing it are two different things. Training has been such an enormous part of my life for the last 10+ years. I'm always training for some kind of event. I did sign up for a half marathon in a couple of weeks but I do not have the mental head for it. While I know I am coming off enough fitness to run 13 miles with no difficulties, I cannot run 13 miles as fast as I normally would and knowing my physical preparation has been compromised these past 2.5 weeks, I just can't  go into a race feeling underprepared. I'm not a "run it just to run it" kind of racer but I haven't completely ruled out not doing the Hamptons Half either, maybe I could just do it for "fun" although 13 miles is not just something you do for fun, for me. The first thing I need to get myself on is some kind of routine. Getting back to work full time is always a shock to my system too. I know, I know, I hear your tiny violin playing for me, but my teaching job requires tremendous amounts of energy. Particularly this year as in this economic climate, we have lost almost a third of our teaching staff. I have 35 students per class. The dynamics are much different, stressful. 8 - 10 more dependent bodies in my classroom, I worry that I might not be able to give them all the adequate care and attention they deserve. I will however, give it 100% every day. My little guy started 4th grade, homework level is up, we all need to settle into a new routine in the Gatz household. Hopefully Dave will be feeling more like himself soon and be able to drive in the next couple of weeks. That frees me up for some running/study time while Van hits the gym team practices. The promise of fall is enticing me back in the trails, just need some cool nights to kill off the critters. I did manage to run 4 days last week and hit some strength training, it's just weird not to be running that much at all. 4-6 miles, nothing longer on Sunday because I just didn't have the energy for more than an hour. Hopefully soon for that too. There is nothing like a good 10-12 miler on a cool September Sunday morning. Lots more to tell you about the PhD pursuit and what I am thinking of centering my research around. Thanks for reading and good luck to any fall racing you may have left!